I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
