she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
