I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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