Dual....:-)
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
