You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
