we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
