i think my mom watched the whole time
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
