K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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