a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we're making bets on your personal life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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