I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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