i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
and you fell through a lawn chair
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
