Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
