i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
