do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
