She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
