apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
