the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize