She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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