That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
