I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
