We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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