I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
