So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
porn star boner night. come get it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
