I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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