You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
