even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
