Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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