I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
