I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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