Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i out mim tonsoeep
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
