I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
