If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
