Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize