that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
