u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
