i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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