I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
