Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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