she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
