I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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