Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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