im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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