what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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