there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
