It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will be naked everywhere
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
