Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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