it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
