Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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