you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize