He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
