Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This is not my ceiling
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize