He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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