how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
