my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
