So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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