please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
