Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I think I just sharted jello shots
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