I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize