so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
