i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
