My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
