I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we're making bets on your personal life
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
