She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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